Every a few months a new article comes out declaring bras to either be a godsend or a serious problem. One such article’s claim went so far as to say that bras lead to sagginess. Now, as a twenty-seven-year-old, sagginess isn’t on the top of my list of concerns, but I had enough. It was time to see if all these “going braless is better” claims had any truth to them.
A little about me: I wanted a bra at age 9 and started stuffing in order to have something to put in said bra (sidenote: thanks again Janet for being so cool and casually telling me I had tissue sticking out of my shirt instead of making a big scene. 5th grade could’ve been a different beast without you.) My stuffing days are long gone (thank god), and my current size is a 32DD (according to Victoria’s Secret, at least). I have always worn a bra, and never thought twice about not wearing one. In fact, I would go out of my way to accommodate strapless dresses and racerbacks, so my boobs were never left hanging (literally).
I wouldn’t seem like a good candidate for this braless experiment, but my boobs have the rare gift of being prominent, but not obscene without support, so I thought I’d give it a go. One week, no bra.
The first day took some getting used to. Not going to lie, the ladies were pretty sore. I thought maybe the claim was a sham and was the brainchild of some dude to get ladies to ditch their bras. By the second day, the soreness subsided and was replaced with this feeling of confidence. It was like I had a sense of freedom. Screw you, stupid bra… you’ve been suppressing my best asset! As the rest of the week wore on, that confidence continued to grow. I felt prouder to be a woman, skinnier, and dare I say it… a little sexier. Not to mention, I didn’t waste time in the morning searching for a bra. I could just put on a shirt, dress, etc… and go! I loved this new braless me, and so did my boobs.
So are my boobs less prone to sagginess now? Who the hell knows. But, I sure as heck feel a lot better about myself and my lady bits. And yeah, I’ll still strap them into support from time to time – white shirts and low-cut tops should always have an extra layer of protection. But as for me and my 32DD’s, we were quite happy ditching the bra.
When I was a kid (we’re talking 12-13, here), my favorite game to play with my best friend was something we called “Older Life.” Basically it was Sim City pre-computers. We would discuss our future jobs, spouses, friends, houses, etc. I remember I would fantasize about what it would be like to be an older version of myself - the cooler, more composed, had her life together, self. Of course, to tween Joelle this girl would develop straight out of college. Oh, how funny life is.
This weekend was wonderful. It was a great mix of doing fun things, getting shit done, and relaxing. Yesterday I spent the gorgeous holiday surrounded by fun, sweet, smart, and sexy women and I started thinking about tween Joelle. And that’s when I realized, the version of myself that I always wanted to be was now my reality.
It’s a funny thing when your fantasy version of yourself and your real self merge. Not everything is perfect, or exactly how you imagined, but that’s okay. You’re able to look around your life - your inspiring and fun friends, your reliable and handsome boyfriend, your clean and fully stocked apartment, your job that you love and can’t believe you actually get paid for it — and realize that life is pretty great. And then you smile — for that little girl who wanted this so badly, and for the adult that actually made it happen.
"When you feel in your gut what you are and then dynamically pursue it - don’t back down and don’t give up - then you’re going to mystify a lot of folks."
— Bob Dylan
This is going to be a ridiculous post where I talk about how much I love my boyfriend because he takes care of me, and does sweet things for me, and believes in me even when I don’t believe in myself. And we get to be weird together and listen to The Little Mermaid soundtrack before bed and make faces at each other. I can’t believe I found someone so perfect for me.
I’m still coming off the incredible high of filming last week. I can’t believe we shot 45 pages in 6 days. I am so grateful to the amazingly talented cast and hardworking crew. Can’t wait to show all of you what we did.
"I really, deeply believe that dreams do come true. Often, they might not come when you want them. They come in their own time."
— Diana Ross
Five years ago, I was 22 and living in an apartment with one of my best friends from high school and her three-year-old daughter. I wrote my first pilot.
I sent that very unpolished pilot to a writer friend of mine, who I deeply respected and admired. We sat down at the WB lot to discuss it and he said, “This is an amazing idea and someone will make it someday. This will also be the project that teaches you how to write.”
He was right.
I’ve written five different versions of that script since then, and numerous rewrites since we went into production. With each draft, it grew, much like I did.
Tomorrow, with a crew of 35 and a cast I can only dream of, I get to experience the one goal every screenwriter has: To see a world they created come to life.
And I am so, so grateful, humbled, and happy.
Thank you to my wonderful friends for reading various drafts throughout the years and still giving notes and support, my extraordinary boss for the encouragement and letting me take the time off to do this, my boyfriend for dealing with my late nights and near panic attacks, my parents for the love and support they’ve always given me to pursue my dreams and for not freaking out over the fact their daughter is writing something about internet porn, and most of all, my co-creators who believed in me and made this dream a reality.
"Do what you fear and fear disappears."
— David Joseph Schwartz